People who just won’t stop talking…

I ran into a fine specimen of this type of person today. I didn’t see it coming, I got no word of warning and it proved to be a situation hard to get out of.

I was out shopping for something to put in my water bottle to keep my salt and mineral levels even when I’m sweating a lot. I thought GNC in the FSK mall in Frederick might be a good place to check. I waltz in and I’m greeted by a pretty short but absolutely HUGE guy with a long pony tail. When I say huge I don’t mean fat but ripped.

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for some sort of supplement to put in my water bottle when I’m doing long bike rides. Something to keep my salt and mineral levels good.”

Ripped guy (In the most drawly american accent you can imagine): “Oh cool dude yah I’d recommend these here.”(Points at insane sized jars of protein powder). “These are amino acids man and they’ll be huge for you and your recovery time dude.”

Me: “That looks more like protein powder. I just want something to put in my water bottle for minerals and stuff.”

RG: “Yeah right on dude right on. You can mix this with water too. You going cross country?”

Me: “Yeah” 

RG: “That’s huuge dude.” He then went into a fucking ESSAY length monologue about an old friend of his up in FROSTBURG who had apparently ridden cross country one time together with his wife. They had flown to Washington State and then made their way through the north of the USA and the southern parts of Canada back to the east coast and then trailed back south to Frostburg. This man worked as a school teacher and was apparently usually a clean cut gentleman. But after his trip he had “an insane like big beard dude, it was crazy”.  When he came back from his trip, the school teacher had randomly shown up at a party of like 400 people that Ripped Guy was at. He did this to surprise everyone that he was back. His beard was great according to Ripped Guy. He’s now divorced from his wife and Ripped Guy is not sure why.

Ripped Guy then, without further prodding from me, decided it was time for him to share with me some of his endeavors in extreme sports (I don’t know how we got onto that, he might have felt bicycle touring is an extreme sport). In Frostburg they have several different sized cliffs that you can jump off of into water. Some are 40 feet. Some are 60 feet and the highest one is 80 feet. The one that is 80 feet is radical to step off of because you have very little real estate of water to land in. Ripped Guy said he has very good body control so that was fine with him. He can also do front flips from the 60 feet cliff. What he actually wants to do though is skydiving. Well he has actually already done it but that was a tandem jump. It was cool but he wants to do it alone. You have to go through an 8 hour course to do that so that sucks. Ripped Guy felt that the coolest thing would be to skydive into water or from a plane flying over the desert. He would then land in sand which he thought a good idea.

People like this amaze me. I probably listened to him for 10-15 minutes and I offered him very little if any stimulation that would suggest that I wanted to know more about what goes on in Frostburg. The reason it’s interesting to me is that you (or I) rarely come across people like this in Sweden. I may have friends who talk a lot, but this kind of thing just would not happen. Most swedes seem to be afraid that other people are bored as soon as they open their mouths, this guy had no such fear in his body. Must be liberating.

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