Diary of the lonesome Kansanian

Chanute, Kansas. 1:00pm

Sitting in a restaurant in this sleepy little town. It’s a new snazzy place that’s only been open for a few weeks and they are just getting run over. It’s kind of amusing to watch. I’ve waited for my food for probably half an hour and others are starting to leave without getting served. Stressed out waitresses abound.

Kansas is very flat so far, and the locals tell me I’m in the hilly part. The transamerica maps no longer offer elevation charts of the terrain because it’s not needed. I must say, after only being here for two days Kansas already has me by the balls. I nearly had a nervous breakdown this morning – it was getting really hot, there was zero shade, and the road was just straight. For many miles. If the pavement hadn’t been so fucking hot i would have gotten on my knees and cried it felt like. The thing about a big ass mountain is that you can get pissed off at it, put your head down and get your aggression out by pedaling like a maniac to the top. Being angry at flatness is harder. It’s like being angry at someone who keeps being nice to you.

It’s embarassing to say it, but now that I’ve got flat I wouldn’t mind some hills, you know? It’s a classic lesson of not longing for what you don’t have.

The lack of shade here changes the hours you can ride. Between 1pm and 5pm is siesta time for me. You’re best off getting all riding done before 1 but I haven’t been able to get out of bed that early.

If I were a normal person who knew what was best for me I’d say fuck it, I’m getting on a bus through Kansas. But I’m not – I keep thinking this will be good for me or some shit like that. “I’m learning something” I keep saying to myself. Not sure what.

Wow the people at the table next to me are so awkward. It’s an old people’s double date or something. Two couples in their 80’s and a friend. They’ve waited forever and are just staring out into space – loooking over top of each other’s heads for lack of anything to say. Waitress keeps apologizing. Ultra awkward.

Googled bike touring boring and got a good response
Boredom is a kind of anxiety we often try to sooth with distraction. Unfortunately, distraction is not very affective. The anxiety always creeps back.

Oh here comes my food. Let’s see what it tastes like.

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